Practice Listening (3 of 7)

I write these posts a week or two before they are actually posted and I practice what I write.

Generally, I think I’m a good listener and I love asking questions. That said, I tried to be more intentional about listening.

The other day I sat in a small gathering of women and listened well before I even thought about what I might say. It was lovely. I actually heard what people were saying and was blessed by the depth of what I was hearing. I learned so much from their views and I felt so much kinder.

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say. Bryant McGill

It was a wonderful exercise in listening, one that I hope to hold onto and continue to employ regularly.

couple talking

So today, you give it a try. When you get moving today, listen to your spouse. Hear what they are really saying. If you don’t understand, ask a question. Make today about hearing what your spouse and others have to say.

 

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Do You Listen Well? (2 of 7)

Take the day and ask yourself if you are listening well when others speak.

Certainly there are times when you need to be the speaker in conversation, but when others are talking do you listen well? How much time do you spend talking compared to the time you spend listening?

couple talking

When your spouse is talking are you actively listening? Do you ask questions? Do you explore their position? Or are you too busy trying to communicate your views?

 

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Listen Up (1 of 7)

Don’t you just love James?

Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener] …  James 1:19a  AMP

Tough one. Yeah.

It’s just so easy to always be “on” when it comes to talking. We’re either talking or thinking about what we will say next. Today, let’s set all the talking aside and focus on listening.

rabbit with raised ear

Spend the day just thinking about what it really means to listen. What happens when someone listens well? How does that impact the speaker and the listener?

Lord, God, please walk with us as we learn to be better listeners. Help us to hear the heart of what is being said behind the words spoken. Show us the importance of listen well. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

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How Did You Do? (7 of 7)

This is the end of our review week. I’ll start a new concept tomorrow.

So what practices did you focus on this week? How did you do?

For me, it was focusing on kindness and respect in my speech. Mostly, I did OK, but I had a couple of moments of fussiness I’m still thinking through. Really low energy is problematic for me, as is anxiety/fear. My tone of voice changes and I’m not as calm and nice as I could be.

I need to continue to focus on how I speak, deal with my fears, and take good care of myself. I’m still recovering from surgery and several weeks of being sick. My energy reserves are quite low and it’s easy to bottom out. Winter is tough (very little sunshine and lots of white) and I need more creative outlets. (I did get some yarn to start a baby afghan for a friend of mine. She just found out she’s expecting. Surprise package!)

baby afghan

I think the thing that is mostly in my face is how important it is to take care of myself. It’s hard to be a good spouse when I’m running on empty. That’s not to excuse the choices I make, really, but to acknowledge how hard it is to make better choices when I’m out of fuel.

Being a better spouse for me includes taking better care of myself.

 

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January Reading (6 of 7)

I’ve been reading Finish by Jon Acuff, Atomic Habits by James Clear, and The 12 Week Year by Moran & Lennigton and I say two thumbs up for each of them.

books I'm reading

These are very encouraging books that can help you plan and take steps in the direction you want to go. All the authors are great storytellers, so they are fun reads (or you could get the audio version and listen while you exercise, do housework, or drive).

Here’s a challenging excerpt.

Your current actions are creating your future. If you want to know what your future holds, look to your actions; they are the best predictor of your future. You want to predict your future health, look at your current eating and exercise habits. You want to predict the health of your marriage, look at your interactions with your spouse. You want to predict your career path and future income, look at the actions you take each business day. Your actions tell the story.  Brian P Moran & Michael Lennigton, The 12 Week Year

Yup, gonna finish up these books.

  • What books are you reading?
  • How are they impacting your life and marriage?

rabbit kit

This is a sleeping kit in my doe barn (tummy full of fodder and feed). A backup doe turned out to be a backup buck. He knocked up all my does, and now I’m drowning in kits. Not a bad problem (and rather lovely during this gray and white season). I just have to be more careful about temperatures for them. Ah, life on the homestead. 🙂

 

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Prayer (5 of 7)

One thing I should have mentioned from the beginning is the importance of prayer.

We need for God to teach us and change our hearts and understanding. He is doing a work in us, and we need to agree with Him and work with Him in the process.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.  Philippians 1:6  ESV

I will try to remember to start each week with a prayer. (If I miss it, or you just want to, please add a prayer in the comments.)  🙂  Let’s give God honor and glory for His work in us.

couple praying

You may also want to pray daily for your marriage and/or add prayers to your journaling. If you have trouble remembering to pray, tie it to a habit you already have, like pray while you are making the bed or when you’re brushing your teeth (God understands toothpaste talk). Sticky notes are helpful too.

(You do not have to be a Christian to read this blog, however, I am a Christian and there will be prayers, scriptures, and such throughout. Please be respectful of the Christian culture on this blog and in the comments. Thanks.)

 

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