Take Up the Slack

by | Apr 30, 2023 | concept

CONCEPT  (Day 1 of 7)

A few years back I spent a year reading a chapter of Proverbs each day. This scripture always stood out to me.

Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys. Proverbs 18:9 ESV

It’s easy to make excuses over those things we don’t want to do, but lack of action is not without its consequences. And I think some of those consequences are far more destructive than we want to admit to ourselves.

lazy koala

Take today and consider laziness and procrastination. As you do, make room for the balance of rest and play. How would you define each of these? Where is the line between all these things?

 

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Breaking the Habit

by | Apr 29, 2023 | conclusions

CONCLUSIONS  (Day 7 of 7)
(Need to start at the beginning?  Day 1)

I was surprised at how often I thought I knew what was going on in other people’s heads.

For what person knows the thoughts and motives of a man except the man’s spirit within him? 1 Corinthians 2:11a  Amp

I spent most the week just trying to catch myself doing that and trying to set it down. By end of week, I was doing much better, but it was still a shock to see how often I jumped to conclusions about someone’s thoughts, feelings, or motivations (especially my sweetie’s).

spouse breaking chain

So I’m breaking an old habit and building a new one. I stop the wrong thought processes and remind myself of the truth instead.

 

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Build Your Question Skills

by | Apr 28, 2023 | resources

RESOURCES  (Day 6 of 7)
(Need to start at the beginning?  Day 1)

I’ve got a bit of an outside-the-box resource for you today.

For what person knows the thoughts and motives of a man except the man’s spirit within him? 1 Corinthians 2:11a  Amp

In looking for resources, there wasn’t that much I could find, but behind this week’s concept is the skill of asking questions. Not knowing the mind and heart of another means we have to invite people to share if we want to know them.

That’s the main skill behind “coaching”. And my favorite coaching book is Leadership Coaching by Tony Stoltzfus (ignore the word Leadership because it’s a good all around coaching book).

Leadership Coaching book

It can help you develop your invite-people-to-share muscles and teach you the importance of helping folks express themselves and learn as they go.

 

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Drop Them Again

by | Apr 27, 2023 | second try

SECOND TRY  (Day 5 of 7)
(Need to start at the beginning?  Day 1)

Workday two of dropping the assumptions.

For what person knows the thoughts and motives of a man except the man’s spirit within him? 1 Corinthians 2:11a  Amp

A few things to try:

  • Listen to others and be very slow to draw conclusions.
  • Ask questions.
  • Ask yourself what is the “evidence” for your conclusions?
  • Base your conclusions on what others say and do, rather than on what you think their motives are.

lots of question marks

  • Ask more questions.
  • Are you believing the best or the worst about them?
  • Spend a few moments examining any assumptions after holding a conversation with someone. What did you learn?

 

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We’re Different

by | Apr 26, 2023 | road blocks

ROADBLOCKS  (Day 4 of 7)
(Need to start at the beginning?  Day 1)

Assuming another’s thoughts or motives is really a cultural norm. Watch a TV show or read a discussion forum and you’ll see plenty of it. It’s easy to pick it up as a way of relating to others.

For what person knows the thoughts and motives of a man except the man’s spirit within him? 1 Corinthians 2:11a  Amp

Probably my biggest problem, however, is that I expect people to be like me.

playful twins

If I said or did “that”, it would mean “this”. Reality is, those words or actions could come from a number of beliefs and motivations and I need to make that a part of how I see others. We are all a bit different. Some of us are a lot different.  🙂

I can also see myself as “discerning” and right (pride much?) or I judge another’s motive based on my own fear or insecurities. It’s all a sticky mess.

I just need to take a humility pill and challenge my assumptions, reminding myself we are all beautifully different.

 

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Assume You Don’t Know

by | Apr 25, 2023 | first try

FIRST TRY  (Day 3 of 7)
(Need to start at the beginning?  Day 1)

Take the day and assume you don’t know everything about the people around you, especially your spouse.

For what person knows the thoughts and motives of a man except the man’s spirit within him? 1 Corinthians 2:11a  Amp

Sure, invite them to do the usual stuff, but also consider asking them questions. “Want to play Splendor (the usual) or something else?” You’re inviting them to do something you have regularly enjoyed together, but you are still giving them a bit of wiggle room to express themselves.

couple playing game

Paul and I just had a long talk about the word “disdain.” We each had a slightly different take on it, and we wouldn’t have known that if we hadn’t taken the time to discuss it, to ask questions, to listen well, and generally consider that we didn’t know each other’s mind.

Let today be a day of exploring the idea that you still have much to learn about your sweetie and all the other lovely people in your life.

 

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