REFLECTION  (Day 7 of 7)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

I meet with a couple of gals for a weekly Bible study. When we came across this verse awhile back we thought it was such a nifty idea, we decided to pray this for ourselves and each other over the next week.

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, …  Colossians 1:9  ESV

I came across this verse again today and decided to pray it again for myself and for all of y’all as we move into the new year.

If you have a moment, please join me to pray for all the folks represented by this list. As we grow up in the Lord and build our marriages, we could surely use wisdom, understanding, and the knowledge of His will.

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REFLECTION  (Day 6 of 7)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

Most of the time, I write about all the things we can do to make our lives and marriages better. I don’t want you to think this is some rigid-get-it-done kind of blog.

Much of what we do here will start with failed attempts or imperfect tries. That’s where the grace comes in. We’re learning here. We’re experimenting. This isn’t a giant pass or fail exam.

Never let success get to your head; never let failure get to your heart. Author Unknown

Learning and practice takes time and ongoing effort. It isn’t a race or a competition. Give yourself plenty of grace for the journey.

Please prayerfully consider donating to our year-end fundraiser. If you wish to give, click here. (If you would prefer to give by check or money order, please use this form.)

We are a bit over 80% of our goal. Thanks to all those who have already given.

Tilly says thanks too.

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Image credits – rubber duck © Romolo Tavani / Adobe Stock, Tilly © Lori / Doing Marriage Well
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REFLECTION  (Day 5 of 7)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

I’ve spent a lifetime (mostly) trying to love and serve others. I’d periodically burn out.

(Jesus said) ” ‘And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Matthew 12:3-31 ESV

I thought there was something seriously wrong with me (well, really there is, I do have a sin nature – sigh), but really I was starving myself of what I needed relationally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I didn’t love myself very well and that hugely resulted in exhaustion, grumpiness, and no little self-disdain.

When I talk about self-care, I’m not talking about foo-foo psycho-babble. I’m talking about the sensible self-care of getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, getting some exercise, spending time with God and lovely people, doing something creative, looking for something meaningful to pursue, etc.

Not taking care of yourself is putting you and your marriage at a disadvantage. You can’t live a good life always running on empty. You can’t love others well if you don’t take care of yourself.

What one or two small things can you do in the new year that will “fill you up” a bit? Ask your spouse the same question. See what you both can do to make that happen in your relationship.

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REFLECTION  (Day 4 of 7)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

One year, I read a chapter of Proverbs every day (you can read through the book 12 times in a year if you’re willing to sneak in chapter 31 in those months that have fewer days).

That said, my takeaway was that integrity really, really, really matters.

People around you count on your honesty, fairness, generosity, and general goodness. They need to be able to trust you and that goes double in marriage.

I’ll own that some days it’s hard to follow through in word or deed on the things I know are important. I don’t want to clean the kitchen, do bookkeeping, or any number of other chores. I don’t want to say the hard things. Why can’t I just fudge the truth a bit and avoid an argument? Really, do I have to go to church or show up at that party? (All you introverts will understand.)

Wisdom is knowing the right path to take. Integrity is taking it. MH McKee

Having integrity is costly, but it is very much worth the price.

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REFLECTION  (Day 3 of 7)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

It’s tempting to try to fix your marriage by trying to fix your mate. After all, you know what is wrong with them and what they should do, right?

Reality is, that’s pretty much a frustrating dead-end and God says it best.

… first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s spouse’s eye. Matthew 7:5 ESV (italics mine)

We can work with ourselves and make choices that will make us better people and better spouses – first.

As just an encouraging story, years ago I determined to be a “generous wife.” I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, so I didn’t tell Paul about it and just began to experiment. A couple of weeks later, Paul pulled me aside and asked me what was going on. He had noticed the change and found himself just naturally responding in kind. It was rather fun to explain and we’ve been trying to out-generous each other ever since.

Going first works best! It shows your spouse that you have skin in the game and you realize it takes two to make a marriage great.

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