Doing Makes the Difference

by | Jan 25, 2025 | let's chat

SAT AM COFFEE CHAT

I’m just finishing up QBQ by John G Miller. I try to read it at the beginning of each year, as it’s one of the more encouraging and challenging books I know. It’s small and doesn’t take much time, but it’s rich in perspective.

Its main message is one of personal responsibility. (Which fits nicely with doing marriage well.) And it all starts with asking the right kind of questions.

LOTS OF QUESTIONS

Asking “why” or “who” tends to lead to the blame game and doing little. Asking “how” and “what” makes for solutions that are doable and bring change. (“Who dropped the ball?” vs. “What can we do to fix this?)

Whether you read the book or not, may I encourage you to ask the kind of questions of yourself that lead to action and change?

It’s the doing that makes the difference!

It begins … 🙂

SEEDS!

I just got the first of my ordered seeds – three different kinds of sweet corn (with shorter growing seasons because … Washington weather).

 

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Image credits – lots of questions © Gerd Altmann / Pixabay, seeds! © Lori / Doing Marriage Well
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Have a Heart to Serve

by | Jan 24, 2025 | conclusions

MY THOUGHTS

SAY/DO NOTHING –  (Day 6 of 6)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

What an interesting week!

What did you learn about the balance of saying/not saying and doing/not doing?

I’ve been working on having a heart ready to serve, and then praying for wisdom to know when to speak/act and when not to.

THOUGHTFUL WOMAN

I realized that in certain areas of my life, I’ve been a bit lazy. I didn’t even consider being a part of service. In other areas, I needed to move slower and more prayerfully. Each circumstance was different and might need a different word/action. Life is not a one-size fits all.

What were your successes? Where did you fumble? What made a good difference for you?

Have a great weekend!

I’m having color withdrawal! It’s been white, white, and more white with all the snow.

PURPLE & YELLOW IRISES

Just sharing a bit of color from the past to remind myself that one day it will be spring again.

 

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Image credits – thoughtful woman © Asier / Adobe Stock, purple & yellow irises © Lori / Doing Marriage Well
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More Practice Doing Less

by | Jan 23, 2025 | second try

SECOND TRY

SAY/DO NOTHING –  (Day 5 of 6)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

Another day of practice …

What have you learned so far? How will you add that wisdom to your day of practicing less speaking and doing?

WOMAN REFUSING HELP

I’m still thinking about responding graciously when someone declined my offer of help. It was interesting. I was fairly quick to say, “No problem. Just know I’m available if you change your mind.” Being gracious helped the moment be less awkward and let her know there were no hard feelings.

How can I take that concept into other areas of my life?

Well, let’s get to it … or not. 🙂

Oh, the desperation of a bored kitty. Must. Chase. Something.

BORED TILLY

We had a moment of sunlight and it reflected off of Paul’s watch while he sat at his computer. Go, Tilly, go!

 

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Image credits – woman refusing help © Viktor Koldunov / Adobe Stock, pic © photographer / source
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The Struggle is Real

by | Jan 22, 2025 | road blocks

WHAT'S STOPPING YOU?

SAY/DO NOTHING (Day 4 of 6)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

How did you do yesterday? What are your thoughts?

It was a bit tough for me because Tuesdays are my social day. I hang with good friends and we have fun. I did try to ask questions and take my time in response (if at all). I wanted to give others a chance to really share their hearts, giving their words more weight in the conversation.

COFFEES

I didn’t have a lot of opportunity for appropriate inaction. I have several practical chores that are my responsibility. I did offer to help someone who said, “No, thanks.” I figure graciously backing down is a close second to inaction. They didn’t need or want my help. ‘Nuf said.

What did you learn from your day of practice?

A while back, I closed down my flock of Coturnix quail. I needed to rethink and reconfigure my cage setup for them. When I started back up, I had a difficult time getting fertile eggs that the postal system didn’t decimate in transit.

QUAIL EGGS

I finally managed to get a few hatched and to maturity. They’re just now starting to lay eggs. In a few weeks, when I know they’re very mature, I’ll try hatching some homegrown eggs to enlarge my numbers.

 

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Image credits – coffees © Pixabay.com, quail eggs © Lori / Doing Marriage Well
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Bless Someone With Silence or Inaction

by | Jan 21, 2025 | first try

GIVE IT A TRY

SAY/DO NOTHING (Day 3 of 6)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

Let’s take the day and give silence/inaction some thought and action inaction.

When do we need to pause and not speak up?

I find if I jump into a conversation too quickly, I can run over someone talking. Not only is that rude, but people can need a little extra time to share their heart or explain their thoughts. It’s wisdom to hold my tongue and give them that time.

WOMAN GIVING TIME OUT GESTURE

When do we need to pause and not act?

I have to bite my tongue and sit on my hands sometimes with my grandkids. There are times they need to figure something out on their own or take responsibility for their actions. For me to step in and do something for them could be more hurtful than helpful.

The same can happen with adults. Yes, I want to be helpful, but there are times when others need to step up, or it’s wisdom for me to say no because I have too much on my plate.

What could saying or doing nothing look like when it’s a blessing?

So the forecast was for the low teens overnight.

LOW TEMPS

We actually got down to single digits. I’m so grateful for our warm little home.

 

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Image credits – woman giving time out gesture © asierromero / Adobe Stock, low temps © Rosy / Bad Homburg / Germany / Pixabay
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When Is It Helpful?

by | Jan 20, 2025 | self-examination

SELF-EXAMINATION

SAY/DO NOTHING  (Day 2 of 6)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

This week we’re exploring the wisdom to know when to speak/do and when not to.

Take the time today to think about action/inaction and speaking/not speaking in your life and marriage.

PAUSE & REFLECT SIGN

Where has silence or inaction been helpful? When has it been more hurtful? What made the difference?

Where have you seen a wise balance of between the two? Who does it well?

Make the day about examining your past, especially where it has played out in your marriage.

Temperatures in the low teens (Farenheit).  Brrrrr!

TILLY THE HOUSE CAT

Tilly has declared herself a spoiled house cat.

 

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Image credits – pause & reflect © Uladzislau / Adobe Stock, Tilly the house cat © Lori / Doing Marriage Well
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