As with other aspects of marriage, a couple’s sex life can start badly and become great, or start well and become bad. The difference is usually one spouse won’t be quiet about poor or limited sex. While the husband is more likely to be upset about sexual issues, in nearly a third of marriages it’s the wife who is unhappy about the frequency and/or quality of sex.
Sex is an important part of a healthy marriage. When it’s lacking for years, the marriage is in trouble, even if the less interested spouse doesn’t see the warning signs.
But what about busy seasons, as I discussed yesterday? Some couples who normally have no issue with sex find it becomes an issue during busy seasons. This means the couple has a difference on how critical sex is that is easily resolved when they have plenty of time.
Expecting no change in sex when other areas of marriage are suffering from a time squeeze is unreasonable. However, seeing it as something that can or should be more significantly curtailed than other parts of the relationship is also unreasonable.
A good fix for a season of less time for each other is to look for ways to make sex easier or quicker. This means picking your time well. It might mean more sex for just the one with the higher drive. It could mean different sex acts, maybe even masturbating together at the end of a long day. Or it might mean playing catch up on the weekend.
The best strategy is to talk about this before it happens. Or happens again. Be honest about what you feel you need sexually. Also, be honest about how limited non-sexual time together impacts your interest in sex. Then talk out something you can both survive.
~ This is Paul, reminding you that a good sex life also takes time
A friend who raises goats had all three of her nannies give birth.
Edna Mode would not approve, but we aren’t telling her!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Lori Byerly
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