A good sex life requires trust. Some couples are having sex without trust, and that results in all manner of problems.
One obvious form of sexual trust is what is sometimes called consent. You need to know your spouse won’t push you when you don’t want sex, and won’t push you for sex you don’t want. The other side of that is trusting your spouse will speak up when they don’t want whatever. I’ve seen men assume they have that from their wife when they don’t, and that can do a lot of harm.
Another form of sexual trust is knowing your spouse isn’t telling their friends about your sex life. This is one that both men and women violate all too often. I suggest you have a talk about what is okay to share, and what will stay private. And either of you can put anything on the private list for any reason. Or no reason.
It’s also important to trust that your spouse sees your sexual pleasure as a high priority. It’s common for the husband to run well ahead of his wife early in the marriage, resulting in bad habits. Sex just for him, or just for her, is not a bad thing. But it needs to be a sometimes thing. Additionally, it should never be because one spouse feels their sex needs are less important.
Finally, if you had sex together before the wedding, understand your spouse may now feel that was a violation of trust. This can be true even if they were all for it back then. This is more commonly an issue for women, but I’ve seen it be the man. If either of you feels this way, it will hurt your current sex life until you deal with the past.
~ This is Paul, and trust is real nudity.
Speaking of sex and trust, I’ve added links to a couple of websites I trust for buying sexual items without nudity or gross content. Check out Married Dance and Honoring Intimates if you’re in the market for “sex toys” or lingerie.
I don’t know why, but I love tunnels. We did this one coming home from the retreat.
The road up high is part of what remains of the Historic Columbia River Highway, which goes by dozens of water falls.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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