This week, I want to talk about The Big Four. Four common issues that hurt many marriages. These things may not be listed as reasons for divorces, but they hurt a marriage, slowing weakening it. It’s like a roof that is rotting because it is wet most of the time. When a wind tears the roof off, or a couple of inches of snow cause it to cave in, the real cause of the collapse is the rot that has weakened the roof for years. A solid roof would have survived.
The big four are kids, in-laws, money, and sex.
What makes these things so difficult is they are a normal part of most marriages. You can’t avoid them; you have to figure out how to deal with them well. You have to find a way of dealing with these that works for both of you, and for your marriage.
What’s more, these things change over time, so what dealing with them well means will change. You have to be aware of changes and check in to see if you need to make adjustments.
I’ll cover one of the four each of the next four days. For today, think about them. Which of these is a problem for you? Which for your spouse?
~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well looks different for every couple
I went to get my jacket, and got my hand swatted.
Tilly has few places she likes to hang, but she is always looking for new places.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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