Kids.
Kids are a blessing. They can also be a lot of work, and a major time suck. They can also be a source of arguments. How do we discipline? How do we school them? For that matter, how many are we going to have, and will one parent stay home with the kids?
Ideally, you deal with these issues long before you have children. But even if you do that, there will be adjustments and more things to decide along the way.
A kid issue that is more and more common is the child or children who don’t move out when they become adults. This can become a major point of contention if mom and dad disagree about when the kids need to be on their own. Even if you agree they should have more time, there are issues that come with having an adult child in your home.
I’ve talked to more than a few men who feel they lost their wife to their kids. As she put more and more into them, she had no time for him. On the other side, I’ve heard from women who feel they must take care of 100% of the kids needs. All too often, the parent who is struggling says nothing at first, thinking things will change. When there is no change, they don’t know how to protest something they have put up with for years.
Kids deserve and need time and input from both mom and dad. But mom and dad have to maintain a healthy marriage at the same time. This is necessary not only for the couple, but for their kids. Divorce is devastating for children. Fear of divorce is also harmful, as is seeing marital stress between mom and dad.
If you have struggles over kid issues, please talk them out. If you can’t do that as a couple, get help.
~ This is Paul, reminding you that raising kids well looks different for every family.
Speaking of children: We were at our church small group on April 1st, and the kids got creative.
Happy April Fools’ Day to us!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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