Sex in the form of adultery can kill a marriage quickly. But usually when sexual problems kill a marriage, it takes years or decades. And when it happens, it’s unlikely the sexually frustrated spouse will voice sex as the reason for leaving. But it’s a factor in many divorces.

The most common sex issue is one spouse not having nearly as much sex as they want. It’s the man more often than not, but plenty of women are done with their marriages because their husband is not there for them sexually. Other marriage crippling sexual issues are fights about what to do in bed, porn use, and the wife not having an orgasm as often as she wants.

Typically, when a spouse is frustrated about sex, they complain and nothing happens. Or there is a slight improvement for a time, then it goes back to how it was. And the situation tends to get worse over time. The unhappy spouse eventually realises it will never change, and they stop complaining about it. The other spouse may wrongly take this as evidence everything is okay now. But it’s far from okay. The marriage is slowly dying. Ultimately, either the unhappy spouse will leave, or the couple becomes roommates.

If your spouse has stopped complaining about sex, you need to see that as evidence your marriage is on life support. It’s difficult to fix things at this point, but it’s critical to try. And yes, there is help for this. Lori and I do coaching for sexual problems.

~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Sex Well means you’re both happy with your sex life.

And so it begins:

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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