Today’s post is for the guys.
Lori and I have dealt with a lot of women who served up false peace for years or decades, and then just walked away. Or gave a drastic ultimatum. Or unplugged emotionally.
The vast majority of the time when this happens, there is no fix. She’s burned out, and has long since stopped caring. Even if hubby suddenly became the man she wants and needs, she would not see it, not trust it, or just not care.
Most men have a very strong desire for peace in their home. That’s a good thing, but it can cause us to accept false peace. Even if we have a hint it’s false, we may accept it rather than risking anger or arguing. Thing is, false peace can’t produce a healthy marriage. But it can kill a marriage.
Gents, is your wife really happy? Is she really now okay with things she used to complain about? Or has she decided you won’t change and chosen false peace over ongoing open conflict? If you value your marriage more than temporary false peace, you need to speak up.
BTW, if you don’t see false peace, but aren’t 100% sure, ask some pointed questions. Convince her you want to deal with things and get to real peace.
~ This is Paul, warning you that Doing Marriage Well sometimes looks different for men and women.
We live between this Elk herd’s summer and winter grounds, so we see them briefly twice a year.
Sorry, this isn’t an up close image!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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