Yesterday I said that what you’re pursuing tells others what you really want. In marriage, this is huge! Your spouse judges how much you want them, and how much love them, based on how strongly you pursue them and a solid relationship. What you say means nothing; you are judged on what you do.
We are also judged on what we are specifically pursuing. Do we want a good marriage, or are we more concerned with looking like we have a good marriage? Are you after a show marriage, a trophy spouse, or do you want a deep, connected marriage?
Beyond that, do you want a full marriage with all the trimmings, or are you just looking for a few parts? The guy who makes a lot of noise about better sex but shows no sign of wanting a better marriage outside the bedroom is communicating something to his wife that she won’t find at all desirable. Likewise for the husband of a woman who is all about all the trappings of a good life, but shows no interest in connecting with her husband.
~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well looks different for every couple.
Ran across this on our trip.
That’s how you do it, right?
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Lori Byerly
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