Yesterday I talked about needing to wisely choose which marriage improvements to pursue first. But how do you decide what’s important and what can wait?
This is one of those places where a third party can help.
I say “third party” because there are a variety of choices. Sometimes a spiritually mature individual or couple is all you need. We did this for folks before we had much of a clue or any training. Looking in from the outside can give you a very helpful perspective.
If you need more, it’s time to find a coach, therapist, or counsellor. Some pastors have training in one of those, some do not. Some churches have lay minsters who have a little, or a lot of training. If your church can’t offer the help you need, it can still be a good starting place to find qualified help.
In general, more training means more cost for the client(s), so what kind of help you seek depends on your situation and how bad it is. You want individuals who have training and experience with the issue your marriage is having. The best addiction counsellor in the world is a poor choice for communication problems. Additionally, if your faith is important to you, someone with a similar worldview and faith is critical.
If you see multiple issues in your marriage, a bit of third party help could make a huge difference. When that help leads you to pursue one issue, you may or may not want additional input.
~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well sometimes requires a bit of help.
I snapped a sunset during our train ride home.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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