The average marriage today is weaker than the average marriage of yore, in terms of both satisfaction and divorce rate, but the best marriages today are much stronger, in terms of both satisfaction and personal well-being, than the best marriages of yore. ~ Eli J. Finkel
The first part of that, the average marriage being less satisfying and more prone to divorce than the average marriage of the past, is evident in our society. The second part is less clear, but those who work with marriages see it. Lori and I see it becoming truer over the three decades we’ve done this. There are good marriages, bad marriages, and not a lot of okay marriages.
As I said yesterday, Finkel thinks folks today want a spouse who will help them find self-fulfilment, self-discovery, and personal growth. I wouldn’t say I was looking for those things when I married Lori, but I have certainly found all of them because of our union. And she would say much the same thing. We are both better people because of our time together. We have discovered who we are, often with the help of the other. We have grown into who we are, and that has brought self-fulfilment.
When I look at the better marriages I know, I see much the same. Husband and wife encourage each other to discover who God made them to be, and to become that person. I’ve seen men and women gladly make some pretty significant sacrifices in the service of that.
Are you all about helping your spouse become who they were made to be?
~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well looks different for every couple.
Finally got a decent picture of our ducks.
This pair is with us every spring. They hatch eggs upstream, and come here to feed. In a month, we should see them teaching their ducklings to swim and feed.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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