Today, I want to look at all the things I have mentioned this week as they apply to your sex life.
Training Wheels: Training wheels can help, but also limit. Using lube allows you to have sex, but it may mean you need to learn how to arouse her. Hand jobs for his higher drive keep him from losing his mind, but may prevent the couple from finding something that is better for both of them.
Ditch the train wheels when you no longer need them. And work to no longer need them!
Shortcuts: Some sex shortcuts are just wrong. Using porn for arousal, for example. Yes, it will get her going, but at a cost. Other shortcuts are not wrong, but may keep you from learning things that would make your sex life better. A vibrator might speed up foreplay, but could also limit her pleasure.
Validate your shortcuts.
Books: There are a lot of books about sex. The majority advocate things contrary to the Word of God, and may show things we should not be looking at. It’s rare for a secular book on sex to not contain things that are problematic for believers. Fortunately, there are a number of good books written by and for Christians.
Two books we can highly recommend are Rethinking Sexuality: God’s Design and Why It Matters and Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life .
A Guide: Growing up, most of us learned from friends. This was usually the blind leading the blind. Talking with your adult friends should be better than that, and you can learn things. A concern is how much you, and they, share about your sex lives. And if it will go any further?
A counsellor or coach will have more information, will be better able to determine what you might need, and should guarantee your privacy. Internet based help allows you to talk with someone you won’t see in real life.
For obvious reasons, working with someone of the opposite sex is a bad idea, even if the person is a professional. We think couple to couple is great, but usually a mix of that with some same gender meetings is most effective. If your spouse is unwilling to get help with you, talking with a couple can give you a better understanding of your spouse.
Lori and I do coaching for sexual issues. We find a few sessions can be a big help.
~ This is Paul, who is glad we now have so many great tools to help us Do Sex Well!
What a beautiful sight!
We have a big Yellow Jacket issue every summer. These are queens, which can produce 5,000 workers each! Our dozen traps have taken out about 100 queens so far.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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