So, time for results on the What’s Hurting Your Marriage? survey. We had slightly more men than women answer. Almost half were 55 or older, with only 5% being under 35. And most were very serious about their faith.
Only a few things stood out as being major problems. Those were:
- Lack of non-sexual intimacy
- Sexual Frequency
- Sexual Variety
- Sex Feels One-sided
- Health issues
- Caring for ageing parents
The last two came from the “other” box.
Today I want to address a lack of non-sexual intimacy. First, let’s dispel the idea that this is a female complaint. While just over a third of women rated this as a major problem (7-10 on a scale of 0-10), half of the men said the same. Eight percent of both men and women said their marriage would not survive if the lack of non-sexual intimacy continues. Yes, marriages end, in divorce or by becoming roommates, due to a lack of non-sexual intimacy.
Non-sexual intimacy is the lifeblood of a marriage. It’s also a necessary foundation for a good sex life. It’s not something a marriage outgrows. But we can get lazy or develop bad habits.
I suspect one big reason for a loss of intimacy is couples not going to bed and waking up together. Starting the day with a long snuggle sets the mood for the day. Ending the day side by side in bed is a great way to go to sleep.
Make non-sexual bed contact a priority. Set the alarm a bit earlier so you don’t have to jump out of bed the moment it goes off. Your marriage needs those ten minutes more than you need them for sleep!
~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well looks different for every couple.
PURPLE!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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