Let’s talk about “needs” this week. I’ve heard plenty of folks say they need something, only to be told what they have expressed is a want.
If you get down to it, we don’t need most of what we have to “survive”. But most of us want to go beyond survival, and if we love someone we want far more than survival for them!
In his excellent, and highly recommended, book Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make, Paul David Tripp say, “Calling something a need that is not actually a need is one of the ways we tend to excuse self-focus and the demands that accompany it.”
I agree with the other Paul. And it’s a good word for us to apply to ourselves. But let me offer balance for that which we should also apply to ourselves: Reducing what your spouse desires to a want is one of the ways we tend to excuse self-focus and justify not giving what is desired.
You see the dichotomy? As a receiver, be reasonable. As a giver, be extravagant.
Are you falling short on either side?
~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well means caring about what your spouse wants.
Orange Honeysuckle
Got a picture before it was picked for jam.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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