A choice that we don’t tend to see as a choice is how we see ourselves.
Growing up, everyone had an opinion about who and how we were to be. Parents, friends, school, and our church all told us who we should be. Society told us who we were based on our gender, our race, our family, and many other things. We were divided into jocks and nerds, cool kids, normal kids, and outcasts. We were told to be like certain people for reasons never given. And so on.
This telling was intense when we are young, but it doesn’t stop when we become adults.
Given all this, how can I say that how you see yourself is your choice? What chance do we have in the face of so many people telling us who we are, or who we should be.
And yet, we know it is a choice. We can reject the voices and follow what we find in us; what God put in us. It’s not an easy choice. It might be the hardest choice you will ever make.
Many people live a compromise, partly who God called them to be, and partly who friends, family, and culture want them to be.
This becomes a marriage issue in two ways. First, if we listen to the voices, we can’t be the husband or wife God called us to be.
The second issue is subtler. If you’re not being who God called you to be, you won’t be happy. You will be frustrated, angry, depressed, or not present. None of these allows you to be loving and caring. That negatively affects your marriage, your kids, your friends, and so much more.
If you’re living a life that is not right, choose to move from that to God’s will.
~ This is Paul, and Doing Marriage Well requires you to be the person God created you to be.
I have no idea what you’re doing…
But I’m helping!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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