Podcast: https://bit.ly/3Ivip6Q
Yesterday, I said how you perceive yourself is a choice.
Today, I want to make an ever more difficult claim: How you perceive your spouse is also your choice.
It’s human nature to see people based on how they treat, benefit, or hurt us. We know nothing about the guy in front of us who’s driving 15 miles an hour under the speed limit, but we make a lot of assumptions based on how he is inconveniencing us. In the same way, how we see our spouse is generally all about us. Is she giving us what we want? Is he doing what we ask him to do?
And yet, while we do this, we are very glad God doesn’t do the same to us! We know what we deserve, and we’re so very happy God sees us through the redeeming blood of Jesus.
God calls us to do much the same. And starting with your spouse is Doing Marriage Well!
Start by giving your spouse the level of grace you give yourself. Give him the benefit of the doubt without first deciding if he deserves it. Assume she didn’t mean to hurt or anger you even though it seems that must have been her intention.
Chose to see your spouse as a blessing from God, even when your hurt emotions are calling them a curse. How you treat your spouse will affect how they act towards you. And how you decide to perceive your spouse determines how you treat them.
Of course none of this justifies abuse. But short of that, see them as a broken person who can be so much better.
~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well looks different for every couple.
BTW, Paul David Trip’s book Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make talks about this and other issues I’ve discussed this week. It’s theologically heavy, but a great read.
I mowed the last bit of the loop on the back five acres, as it was finally dry enough.
Found these ferns, some over six feet tall! Have I mentioned we live in a beautiful place?
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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