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I was going to cover both premature ejaculation and erectile difficulty today. But it made for a massive post, so I will do it as two posts, and add a Saturday post this week.

Premature ejaculation, or PE, is generally defined as always climaxing within a minute of the start of intercourse. Only lasting a couple of minutes, or sometimes taking less than a minute, are not PE, and can be dealt with by learning more self-control. And/or by having sex more often as infrequent sex will make any guy faster.

PE is probably genetic. Men with PE show differences in the brain, especially areas involved in sexual response, emotion, and cognitive control. In other words, he can’t help it, and he can’t will it away.

The various treatments for PE add a couple of minutes to how long a man lasts. It may not be long enough for her to climax, but it allows the couple to enjoy a few minutes of intercourse. If he can stay hard after climax, that may be enough for her. Or, if they put a vibe between their bodies, that can help her climax after he does.

Off label prescriptions of SSRI’s are one option. Talk to your doctor. Dapoxetine is a common choice as it has a short half life and few side effects. A numbing cream can add about the same duration. I’ve heard good things about Promescent. Several studies have shown similar time gains when men do pelvic floor exercises. 

The real challenge with PE is how a couple deals with it. If you both accept this is what you have to work with, and look for ways to make sex great, you will do fine. Getting upset or blaming will hurt your sex life and your marriage.

~ This is Paul, reminding you that sex looks different for every couple.

This is why sunset is my favourite colour!

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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