Podcast: https://bit.ly/40xxwTy
Porn is everywhere, and erotica makes it to the top of the New York Times bestseller list. We are awash in twisted versions of sexuality that have little or nothing to do with how real people want or have sex.
This is no longer a just male problem. The best estimates for Christians say 75% of men and 45% of women are regularly viewing porn. If we include erotic literature, the number of women moves well past fifty percent.
The reality of those numbers is there are plenty of church going couples where both are using sexually arousing media. While some do that together, which is bad, most are hiding it from each other, which is even worse.
Yes, all of this is contrary to what God wants from us, AKA sin. But most of the folks doing it know that, so that information alone is not dealing with the issue.
What worries me about this is how it erodes a couple’s marriage. Not their sex life, although it certainly does that; it damages their marriage. It creates a longing for someone different. It pulls the viewer or reader to an unreal type of person who does not, and usually could not, exist.
Watching others have sex, or reading about the same, is not just cheating sexually. It creates emotions for an unreal person, emotions you should only have for your spouse. It draws you away from your spouse and your marriage.
One of the big challenges with this is that much of the church ignore it. We deny how common it is, and act shocked or offended if someone confesses they struggle with it. So we keep our sin secret, which makes it far more difficult to get free. But there are solid resources for believers who want to get free.
For men, I suggest Be Broken. And for women, SheRecovery.com. I know the founders of both of these ministries, and feel they do a far better job than most.
Porn and erotica are enticing. Falling into its grasp is understandable. But allowing it to tear at your marriage is unacceptable. Fight back!
~ This is Paul, and porn is NOT Doing Sex Well.
We got beans!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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