Podcast: https://bit.ly/3JZP3xZ
I want to talk about another tool this week, one significant enough to deserve five posts. That tool is boundaries.
I can hear some husbands moaning in despair at that word. I’ve heard from a number of men who think Cloud and Townsend’s book Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships is an evil, anti-man tome.
The reason for this is these men have not read the book, and are only working off of a far from accurate understanding of the book being pushed by someone using the book for their own ends. It might be their wife, or perhaps they have heard it second hand from a male friend who has been given a distorted rendition of the book.
So up front, I want to be very clear that boundaries are not a way of ensuring you only ever do what you want to do. That’s not boundaries, that’s called being selfish! And the boundaries book is not at all about being selfish.
However, as the subtitle of the book suggests, a lack of boundaries can hurt or destroy a marriage. And not respecting boundaries can do the same. No one likes a boundary that keeps them from something they want, but a world without boundaries would be a dangerous place indeed.
The rest of the week I will discuss why we need boundaries, and what both good and unhealthy boundaries look like.
~ This is Paul, and Doing Marriage Well requires healthy boundaries.
A sugar pie pumpkin in our garden.
These smaller pumpkins have a much better chance of reaching maturity before we get a hard frost.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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