Podcast: https://bit.ly/47sNjHy
Boundaries come in two flavours; negative, and positive.
Negative is obvious: “I won’t accept that” or “I don’t like it when you say that”. We all need some such boundaries to be sane and happy.
Positive boundaries are about the minimum we need to be happy and healthy. The easy way to explain it is with food. We require a certain number of calories. We also require certain amounts of various nutrients. If we fall short on any of those, we get weak or sick. And we could die.
A marriage is the same way. For a marriage to be healthy and growing, it requires various “nutrients”. A marriage RDA if you will.
You need a minimum of trust and communication to have a marriage. You must spend time together having fun and doing various things, including sex. You require respect and support. A lack of any of these makes for a sickly marriage. And too little of some of them will kill a marriage.
As with nutrients, every person’s needs are different. Some are gender based, such as women needing more iron, or more talking. Others are based on individuals differences. Each person is unique, and a loving spouse figures out the minimum of each thing their spouse needs.
And a generous spouse sees the minimum as a starting place, not the goal.
~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well looks different for every couple.
The Dahlias are still going strong.
Need to plant more of them next year!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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