Podcast: https://bit.ly/3VDubiA
Today we take our discussion of boundaries into the bedroom.
Obviously, it’s wrong to try to get sex by force or manipulation. But it’s just as wrong to say yes out of guilt or fear. All of those things violate boundaries, and that hurts the marriage and puts the future of your sex life at risk.
Doing things you don’t want to do is the same. Doing something that does nothing for you because your spouse enjoys it, and you want them to have it, is fine. But doing something that offends you, hurts you, or turns you off, is boundary violating.
Those things, said, let’s apply the idea of positive boundaries to sex.
Setting a minimum amount of sex would be a positive boundary. If your spouse tends to want sex more often, setting a minimum that would bless them would be an incredible gift of love and generosity. Another reason to set a minimum is you are both busy, and you sometimes go too long without making love. Sex is important to the health of your relationship, and agreeing that is so and taking steps to ensure it happens is wise.
Another positive boundary would be for a husband to decide sex will be all about her every third time. The focus will be on what she wants. Her pleasure will be the goal, with his following. He will “do all the work”, and make it as easy as possible for her.
Another possibility is deciding to occasionally engage in an act or position that does nothing for you. It could be a just for them time of sex, or you could do it before or after they take care of you in whatever way you want. Regularly doing sex just for your spouse is a bad habit to develop, but doing it occasionally can be a loving gift.
~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Sex looks different for every couple.
Tilly (AKA defective dog) and Widget (AKA ugly cat) still don’t get along great. But they have agreed to a truce when they are on the bed.
It’s a start!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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