Podcast: https://bit.ly/4nqKmvS
Fear is sometimes rooted in our current reality. But all too often, it is not. So let’s look at some of the “not” causes.
Fear can be a habit learned when we were young. For some, it could have been based on real dangers. But others learned it from a parent or caregiver who was fearful. Either way, fearful thought patterns became automatic.
If there were real threats to your safety or life growing up, you will likely need professional help dealing with those and getting past your fear response. There are a number of great people at Aldrich Ministries who do story work, which can be very helpful with such things. If you were abused or bullied, there is help and freedom. In the interim, telling yourself “That was then, this is now” may help you calm down.
A second hand worry habit may be easier to resolve. But it might still require third party help. Track the habit back, looking for when it started, and why you fell into it. Examine the person you picked it up from, and your relationship with them. We sometimes mirror those in authority to gain approval, respect, or help.
Regardless of why you fall into fear too easily, please have a long, open talk with your spouse about it. Explain as much as you understand, and ask them for grace and support. Could your spouse help by reminding you that was then and this is now? Would a long hug or holding your hand help you calm down so you can see more clearly?
Finally, if you sometimes react to your spouse in fear because of your past, please help them understand why that happened, and make sure they know it was not them.
~ This is Paul, and Doing Marriage Well means helping each other.
The 15 chickens we hatched earlier this year were getting too big for their little cage. They have grown up separated from the turkeys by chicken wire. So we removed the wire.
They get along great. One little rooster is pretending to be a turkey. The rest treat the bigger birds as older chickens. And the turkeys seem to see them as their chicks.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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