Podcast: https://bit.ly/491SLli

So far in this “Have a Great Marriage” series, I’ve put the burden on husband and wife equally. That’s fair; both can, and both should, do what they can to improve their marriage. But that said, I think there is more responsibility on the man.

Some call it headship. I find that term has been so misused as to be worthless. I’m not an egalitarian, but neither am I what most folks think when they hear “complementarian”.

When I read the Bible, I see that God made men and women different. And He called that difference good. He said women need men, but before that, He said men need women. He calls men to help and protect women. Not control them. Not shelter them. And certainly not use them for their own desires.

Leading your wife means doing what’s right and praying she will follow your lead. It also means continuing to do what’s right even if she doesn’t do likewise. It means being willing to wait as the prodigal son’s father waited. It means loving when you get anger or even hatred in return. It means taking the short end of the stick and praying rather than yelling.

The ugly little secret of being a leader in God’s kingdom is you don’t have power or rights. You have obligations and responsibility. This is true for church leaders and husbands. No sane person would chase this, but for men who follow Jesus, this is our lot. Embrace it, and do it well.

Can a wife turn around a marriage? Yes. But I think men are better able to do that because of how God made us. Are there women so determined to have an unhappy marriage or a divorce that her husband can’t change things? Yes. But this is honestly uncommon. Lori and I have seen it a few times, but not often. Most men can save their marriage, or make it far, far better, if they act in time.

~ This is Paul, and Doing Marriage Well has gender differences.

Speaking of male leaders, Lori got our Tom turkey to pose for a picture.

He has been named D’Argo. And no, we don’t call the turkey pen Moya. But perhaps we should!

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Lori Byerly
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