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Motivation.
If we follow Jesus, our motivation should come from Him. Those who do this very well are amazing people who do incredible things. They may or may not been seen and praised by those around them. The teacher who lives out their faith at school can have a huge impact on students, perhaps even saving the life of a few. But they will never be properly honoured for their actions. The missionary who leads hundreds to the Lord will be known by only a few. And the spouse who loves sacrificially to create a marriage that blesses them, their spouse, and their children will not be written up in the paper.
None of these folks are motivated by praise or fame. They do what they do because they see it as the right thing to do. And their faith in the Lord helps them stand fast when it’s tough.
Of course, it’s not as easy as we’d like to be motivated first and foremost by God’s truth and His Word. After a great retreat, a powerful worship service, or a stirring message, it feels easy. But then life comes along and kicks us in the teeth. We get confronted by fear and worry. We remember all our bills and responsibilities. We get weighed down by the horrible things happening in the world, struggles we have, and maybe the ongoing pain and suffering in our marriage.
Sometimes we have to make a choice to remain motivated by God. We choose to act in love when we don’t feel it. We give when we feel empty. We reach out when we want to draw back.
I’ve seen marriages that would have ended in divorce had it not been for the godly motivation of one spouse to make it work. I’ve seen now happy marriages that would have remained miserable without one spouse being motivated to have a better marriage. I’ve also seen marriages die a slow, quiet death because neither spouse was motivated to keep it alive.
Following Jesus has motivated me to be a far better husband than I would otherwise have been. It has motivated me to forgive and give grace when I wanted to lash out in my fear or frustration. Without God, I doubt we’d have made is five years. Because of God, we have passed forty years and are very happily married.
There are a number of ways to stay focused on godly motivation. Regular fellowship is a must. Church, yes, but you need intimate fellowship with a few spiritual friends who can encourage you. Regular Bible reading is good; discussing the Bible with others is better. Books and other media can be a big encouragement. And last but not least, prayer. Good or bad, scared or excited, take your life to God in prayer. And pray for your spouse, no matter how you feel about them at the moment!
~ This is Paul, and godly motivation makes it easier to Do Marriage Well.
The sun coming through the mist.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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