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We make time for what matters to us.
That sounds like a simple, obvious statement. But there’s a lot there. For starters, it means our schedule directly reflects our priorities.
Granted, the true priority can be one step removed. Work is a priority because we have to pay our bills. There are other practical things that get our time because they are necessary for our family’s ongoing health and well-being.
I’ve heard it said that time is not just a resource, it’s also a choice. How we choose to spend our time tells others what really matters to us. If we make time for someone, that tells them they matter to us. If we don’t make time for them, or regularly change plans to do something else, we are telling them those other things are more important to us than they are.
Making time for your kids is huge. Not the time to drive them places, but time to be with them, doing things with them. Most kids would be far happier with fewer things and more time with mom and dad. If you want a good relationship with your grown children, you must make time for them when they are young.
Time use is a big issue in marriage. Making time is part of it, but it’s also what we make time for. If you won’t make time for date nights, what does that communicate? If you won’t make time to sit and talk, what does that say? If you make time for your spouse, but not for the things they really want to do with you, that’s a mixed message at best.
Then there are the sexual aspects of this. If you refuse to make time for regular sex, you’re telling your spouse that neither their sexuality nor they are important to you. When you do have sex, if you don’t take the time necessary to make it good for your spouse, you’re communicating you want to use them for sex, not share and enjoy sex with them.
~ This is Paul, you can’t Do Marriage Well if your spouse isn’t a priority.
It begins!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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