Podcast: https://bit.ly/43LP3ZG
In his sermon yesterday, our pastor spoke about sacrificing for what we love. So this week, I’m going to talk about sacrificing for our marriages.
Please notice I did not say sacrifice for our spouses. I see a marriage as something beyond and bigger than the two people involved. We are told that when we marry, the two become one. Genesis 2:24 says the two become one flesh; not ‘two people who live together’ but a new entity. I think we would do well to focus more on this one flesh entity.
If we elevate the marriage above the two people involved, things start to look different. It’s no longer what he wants vs what she wants. It’s what is best for the marriage. On some occasions, what is best for the marriage will be similar to what the wife wants. On other occasions it will be close to what the husband wants. And on some occasions, what is best for the marriage is not anything like want either spouse wants.
We do this in our individual lives all the time. We delay gratification for something better down the road. We sacrifice because doing so protects us or opens a new possibility. We work overtime to make money for something we want. We eat less and avoid foods we greatly enjoy so we can lose weight and be healthier.
Doing the same for the marriage is wise. When what’s best for the marriage is good with both of us, it’s easy. When neither of us wants what we feel is best, that’s less fun, but not too difficult. But when what is best happens to be what my spouse wants, that feels kind of unfair!
A couple of real world example of doing what’s best for the marriage:
- Prioritising date nights, which both spouses enjoy.
- Having a boundaries conversation with in-laws, which neither of them wants to do.
- He wants to move for his job, she wants to stay near family. If the couple is struggling financially, and there are no good prospects locally, what’s best for the marriage may be to move. However, if they are fine financially and family is a big part of their life and supports them in many ways, moving may cause long term problems. Individual preferences aside, what is best for the future of the marriage?
- Tom and Judy spend a lot of time with Frank and Tiffany. They are great friends, and a lot of fun. But Frank and Tiffany can get really nasty with each other, and Tom and Judy have heard them scream and say horrible things when they fight. Recently when Tom and Judy had an argument it got far more heated than usual. Tom had screamed, and Judy had said she hated him. Neither of these things had ever happened before, and they realised it was Frank and Tiffany’s influence. After discussion, prayer, and tears, Tom and Judy decide that as much as they still enjoy being with Frank and Tiffany, their marriage needs them to back away.
Put your marriage first, and you will develop a great marriage.
~ This is Paul, and sacrifice is part of life, and marriage.
My daughter-in-law made some pumpkin spice coffee creamer.
Can’t wait to try it!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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