Podcast: https://bit.ly/3Y3e6nC
So we’re talking about charitable giving. It’s not directly a marriage issue, but it has marriage ramifications. We knew a couple who nearly divorced because of his charitable giving. He was giving a great deal. She felt it was too much, and suspected he was trying to look good to others. He thought she was being greedy. Regardless of the truth, the issue very nearly ended their marriage.
I think married folks should discuss, pray, and be in agreement about where and how much they give. Agreement doesn’t mean one of you convinces the other. It means you find a way you can both give cheerfully. If either is resentful, too much, or too little, you haven’t found agreement yet. If you really struggle, start small — perhaps $10 a month to a cause you both support. Then grow from there.
The New Testament only uses the word tithe four times, and each of those is in reference to the Old Testament. But that does not mean giving is unimportant. On the contrary, giving is far more important for those who follow Christ.
The tithe was basically a tax that supported the temple and the priests. But the early church had no buildings, as they met in homes. They also had no priests. We are told those who teach are due double honour, meaning they should be both respected and paid. Paul and other evangelists were supported. Paul often engaged in making tents to cover his cost of living, so as not to take money from those he was serving. But he made it clear it would have been good and right for him to ask for support. He did receive support from Barnabas and Titus, along with the churches in Macedonia and especially the church in Philippi.
Paul talks about an offering for the Christians in Jerusalem, to support those in poverty because of famine and persecution. He also did this to build unity between Gentile and Jewish Christians. As I implied yesterday, when we give, it changes how we see those to whom we give.
Unlike the Old Testament, where you could check the giving box when you have given your 10%, the New Testament says it’s all God’s, and we are stewards. We’re told to be cheerful, regular, and systematic in our giving, and to see it as an act of worship done from the heart, not out of obligation. We’re told to be generous in our giving, especially to the poor.
If you attend a church, which you should, you absolutely need to support that church. But that does not take care of your giving. We should give beyond the church, as God leads us. Who you give to, and how much, is between you, your spouse, and God.
As I mentioned yesterday, we start our year-end giving drive today. We have various streams of income, but donations are an important chunk. If you feel led to support what Lori and I do, ministering to couples about marriage and sexuality, we will be most grateful. If not, we’d treasure your prayers. Either way, we’re glad you’re here.
~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well looks different for every couple.
Speaking of The Salvation Army Kettles, a feel good story by a couple who get it.
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Tilly has also met the snow.
And she is so not into it.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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