Podcast: https://bit.ly/492OtZx
Let’s talk about how the holidays stress our marriages.
When life is difficult, odds are our marriage will become difficult. And any disruption of our normal schedule can mess with the normal flow of our relationship. Love or hate this holiday season, it does interfere with our normal schedule.
Busyness is a big issue this time of year. There are so many things to do! Shopping and wrapping gifts, decorating, cooking, and more parties than you can possibly attend. And all of this with extra traffic, winter weather, busyness at work, and oh, the kids are out of school!
The only way to avoid being run over like Grandma was by Santa’s sleigh is to be intentional and proactive. That means conscious choices rather than reactive scrambling and protecting priorities deliberately.
You and your spouse need to decide what you will do, and what you won’t. You also need to talk regularly about your calendar and promise not to add things without discussing it together. A joint calendar is a must. Lori and I use Google Calendar, as it works on all our devices and syncs well. We each have a calendar, and we share them so we see what the other is doing.
Another issue this time of year is spending too much. Gifts are great. Paying for them most of next year, not so much. Then there are the sneaky costs like eating out or getting more take out food because of lack of time, decorations, hostess gifts, and the cost of travel.
This may be a radical idea, but receiving a gift from someone does not obligate you to reciprocate. If it does, it isn’t a gift, it’s a transaction. Beyond that, if it’s the thought that counts, cost should not be a factor.
Our little community here started doing a gift exchange a few years ago. You draw a name, and there’s a price range. Parents still get their kids gifts, as do husbands and wives. But we no longer feel we have to get something for everyone. What’s more, we put thought into one $25 gift instead of scrambling for a dozen $10 gifts.
The bottom line is that your marriage is more important than gifts or parties. But believing that and living it out are two different things! This season will test whether your marriage is actually a priority, or that’s just something you say.
~ This is Paul, and Doing Christmas Well looks different for every couple.
We are closing in on $1,500 for year-end giving. Can you help?
Widget checking out the pond, which has today’s rain over a layer of ice.
The lower right part of the image shows where Widget went through the ice yesterday. She’s fine, wasn’t bothered by it at all.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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