Podcast: https://bit.ly/4oMd8Hk
A potential Christmas problem is the clash of expectations and traditions as the two work on becoming one. She always did Christmas Eve service at church, while his family gathered for snack foods and games. One family opened gifts on Christmas morning, while the other did it Christmas Eve.
For some, it’s not Christmas without certain foods. She expects duck, he’s always done ham. Mince meat pie is a must for him, and she feels deprived without Christmas rum cake. (My recipe here!) He’s used to orange rolls and bacon at 10 AM, with Christmas dinner at 4 PM. She skips breakfast and dinner is at noon.
And then there’s the tree. Multicolour or white lights? Flashing or solid? The abomination known as a flocked tree, or a natural tree, as God ordained? Icicles? Hung or tossed? A few, or hiding everything else.
If you’ve been married a few years, you have probably created your own way of doing Christmas. But did you talk about it and include the things that really mattered to you? Or did it just happen. Did one of you just give in?
The other issue with traditions is the reality that life changes. Some of what worked when you were twenty-something with a baby isn’t so good with three teenagers or an empty nest.
As you move through the Christmas season this year, talk about it. Share stories from your childhood Christmases. Is there something you really miss? How could you include it this year, or in the future? Sometimes compromise is not the answer. Instead, agree it’s duck this year, and ham next year. Flashing coloured lights and tinsel this year, and white lights with no tinsel next. If you absolutely must have a flocked tree, don’t tell me, and get professional help.
Be all about making the holiday into something that blesses your spouse.
~ This is Paul, and flocking is not Doing The Tree Well!
Lori and I made this for my parents in 1985. After they were gone, it returned to us.
Talk about tradition!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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