Podcast: https://bit.ly/3YcrYfC
Have you ever done a Christmas post-mortem? Doing so could make next year much better for you, your spouse, and your marriage.
To be effective, you need to do this in the next few days while events and feelings are still fresh. You also have to agree to be lovingly but brutally honest. Then work to avoid feeling offended or hurt by what your spouse shares.
Take notes as you talk. Then sleep on it, and come back together to make a plan for next year. The plan should include things you absolutely won’t do, as well as things you will make a strong effort to do.
Not sure where to start? Here are some categories and questions to guide your conversation:
- How was your time use and level of busy? Start by giving an overall grade, then discuss details.
- Was anything special or memorable? Can you do it, or something similar, next year?
- Did you spend too much? What should you cut back on next year? What should be cut out?
- Did you eat way too much? How will you deal with that, and how will you do better next year?
- How was time with family? Was it good, or good but too much? Was it aggravating or painful? Was it hard on the kids? What will you do differently next year?
- Do you feel the kids got what they should have out of the season? If not, what was missing? What should you avoid or add next year?
- Did either of you struggle with depression? Was that dealt with well? How could it be better addressed?
- How did your marriage fare? Did you have enough couple time? Did you get snippy with each other? Was sex a casualty? What would you like to do to change those things next year?
Please do some self-care and marriage care the next few days to recover.
~ This is Paul, and dissecting the past helps us Do Life Well .
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Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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