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Something else that has helped Lori and me have a good marriage is the idea that we are all both beautiful and broken. I don’t recall where we first heard that phrase, but it struck both of us as a very important truth.
For me, seeing both the beautiful and the broken is about accepting the entire reality of another person.
Is my wife broken? Of course she is! And I know her brokenness far better than anyone else. I know broken places others will never see, and I know that some of her broken places are deeper than others would guess. I know these things because I have been hurt by her brokenness, and I have watched her be hurt by her brokenness. I’m not ignorant of her shortcomings, nor do I deny them or pretend they are less than they are.
However, I also know her beauty. I have seen it in ways others will never see, and I know the depths of her beauty in ways that others could never guess. And I have been blessed by her beauty.
Because I hold both of these, I am not swayed or shaken when we have problems. I know the brokenness is there, so I’m not surprised when it causes issues. I also know the beauty is there, and I know that even when I’m not seeing it at the moment. The brokenness does not drag me down because I know the beautiful. And I know that beauty always comes through. I have learned I can count on it.
I am also beautiful and broken. When I am doing well, I temper myself with the knowledge my brokenness is still there and will rear its head again. And when the broken is making life difficult, I know the beautiful is there, soon to show again.
Pray for God to open your eyes to truly see your spouse’s beauty and to have grace for their brokenness.
~ This is Paul, and embracing reality is Doing Marriage Well.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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