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On Wednesday I said there was another reason many men dislike Valentine’s Day. That reason is sex. Or more specifically, not having sex. I’ve heard from a lot of husbands who say it’s been a decade or two since they had sex on Valentine’s Day.
Given it’s a day about romantic love, sex seems like an obvious activity to men. I realise most men feel that way about sex every day, but I don’t think it’s invalid to expect sex as part of the celebration on February 14th.
“Expect” – that word’s the problem, isn’t it? That expectation can make it more difficult to want, have, or enjoy sex. It can feel like a demand, something the woman has to do to prove her love. It’s kind of how a lot of men feel about Valentine’s; they have to do certain things to prove their love!
Tomorrow I will talk to the men about why their expectation of sex, and/or frustration over not having it, is bad for their marriage. But today I want to encourage you to do something sexual on Valentine’s Day if at all possible. If it will bless him and make him feel loved and cared for, isn’t it a good thing to do? Even if it’s a bit difficult?
That said, make it easy for yourself. If being aware he is waiting and worrying will make your day difficult, have sex when you wake up. If you’re up for it, offer him a Valentine’s quickie. Or offer your hand. When he’s done, tell him you love him and hug for a while. Joining him in the shower is another good choice. It’s also an easier way to do oral, if you want to give him that.
Most men’s ultimate V-Day sex would be full sex before going out for dinner. I realise that’s a bigger ask. Do what works for you. Push yourself some for him, but don’t hurt yourself. If you want to climax, you should. And he will enjoy the sex even more if that happens.
If years of pressure have made sex on Valentine’s just too difficult, you could give him a sex coupon or two. It tells him you thought of it and want to bless him. One of our Valentine’s Coupons is perfect for a sexual gift.
~ This is Paul, and Valentine’s Sex looks different for every couple.
This is good for at least half an hour…
I put some peanut butter inside, then force in a hard treat.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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