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Over on Quora, some guy was asking, “Why do women have it so much better than men in our society?” Most of the answers were from women who disputed his claim in strong terms.

Part of the common morning prayer for Jewish men is “Blessed are You, LORD our God, King of the universe, who has not made me a woman.” Would you say AMEN to that? How many of the men who claim women are better off than men these days would want to be a woman? Probably none.

One of the scary realities of being a woman is that men are stronger than you. Years ago researchers looked at female college athletes and fratboy couch potatoes. They found the guys who didn’t work out had the same lower body strength as the women who trained hard. And they had greater upper body strength. Most men could best most women in a physical challenge. The next time a woman you don’t know treats you like a potential rapist, please see past being offended and think about the reality she deals with every day of her life.

Another place men are often stronger than women is emotionally. I’m not saying women are emotionally weak or silly. What I mean is men tend to be emotionally ‘thicker-skinned’ or harder. We push hard. We go after what we want, regardless of the cost to others. Most women are not emotionally equipped to do that, and those who try get called rude names.

Most women have been run over by a great many men in their lives. What’s really tough is most have been run over more than once by men they love and respect. Including their own husband. 

Often the men doing this don’t mean to. They are just treating her the way they treat other men. One of the big lies of our age is that men and women are basically the same. In days gone by, men treated women differently than they treated men. Today we have far less of that, and women get hurt because of it. Listen, husband: even if you have a strong wife who can stand up to you emotionally, it’s not how she prefers to interact. 

This is exactly why Peter’s instruction is so vital for us to hear today. When Peter told us women are the weaker vessel, I don’t think he was speaking primarily about our physical strength. Live in an understanding way and show honour doesn’t make sense if he is talking about muscles. He is talking about our drive, our force, our push. We are to understand that our wife is not the same, and we are to honour how God made her.

In the past, I regularly ran over my wife and didn’t even feel the bump. I hate that. And honestly, I still struggle to not do that. I don’t want to do it! How God has made me makes it so easy to do it without intent or awareness.

Do you need to adjust how you deal with your wife to live with her in an understanding way that shows honour?

~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well looks different for every couple.

And so it starts…

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with ideogram.ai & Paul Byerly
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