Podcast: https://bit.ly/4bZ0WPb
Today I heard about a twenty-seven-year-old man who blames losing his job on his mother’s failures when he was a child.
No.
He’s been an adult for nine years; it’s on him.
I often discuss our current struggles tracking back to things our parents did or did not do when we were growing up. It’s a valid thing, and most of us have at least some places where our past is negatively influencing our present. But the goal of seeing these issues’ roots is not to blame our parents or abdicate our responsibility to deal with the fallout, heal, and change.
Understanding why we behave as we do, and feel what we feel, is an important step to healing. But then it’s our job to do the work. No one is going to give you a pass because of what mom did or dad didn’t do. And this includes your spouse. Your spouse might be more empathetic than most people, but that only goes so far and lasts so long.
For what it’s worth, I know some folks who suffered really horrible things from their parents who have become happy and functional. It was difficult, but they worked at it, and it slowly got better and better.
If you have been unable to get over your past, please, please, please get some help. If you don’t, you will continue to be miserable, and your marriage will suffer. What happened to you was neither right nor fair, but it happened. Now it’s up to you to make it better!
~ This is Paul, and blaming your upbringing is not Doing Marriage Well!
Related Resource: Addressing Our Trauma Stories Within Marriage | The Allender Center
Stopped at a new cafe today, and saw this:
Sounds good to me!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with Nano Banana 2 & Paul Byerly
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