Podcast: https://bit.ly/4vzmlY7

On Tuesday I discussed some ways age brings about sexual challenges for men. Today, the ladies.

Her intimate tissues need estrogen, and levels of estrogen fall at menopause. This causes tissues to thin, which can make sex uncomfortable. The easy solution is topical estrogen, in the form of creams, rings, or tablets. Your doctor will decide what is best for you. 

Topical estrogen has been shown to restore tissue thickness, increase elasticity, improve lubrication, and lower vaginal pH. In addition to reducing or eliminating pain during intercourse, these changes also help prevent recurrent urinary tract infections.

As the estrogen is applied to the genitals, it does not change blood levels significantly. Because of this, it is generally considered safe for women who have had breast and reproductive cancers. Your doctor can tell you more if you are in this category.

Medication is the first step, but sometimes the body needs a little extra help. Without regular intercourse, the post-menopause vagina can atrophy, making intercourse uncomfortable, painful, or impossible. Estrogen will help, but it might take more. Careful stretching will restore the vagina. One way to do this is to have him insert his well-lubricated penis and remain still. Work up to a couple of minutes. If you can’t do this, start with a finger or two. Men, if you do this for your wife, self-control is a must. If you become overly enthusiastic, you risk injuring her and causing her to lose trust. Women, if he does this for you, offer to finish him by hand when he feels the need. And ask him to do the same for you.

If intercourse is not possible, or too uncomfortable, there is an option that Lori and I call ‘pseudocourse’. After foreplay, he lies on his back and lubricates the underside of his penis. He holds his penis up against his body, and she straddles him as if to have intercourse. She presses her genitals against his, then moves her vulva up and down along his penis. This is strongly stimulating for both, and will lead to orgasm for both.

As this method provides clitoral stimulation, she can orgasm even if she never has from penetration. You can control how much stimulation he receives by adjusting the amount of rubbing on the glans of his penis. If she starts near the base, he will enjoy it but won’t quickly climax. More stimulation of the glans will get him to orgasm faster.

~ This is Paul, and there are ways to keep Doing Sex Well.

I love the yellow the willows put on as they get ready to put out leaves!

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with Nano Banana 2 & Paul Byerly
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