Podcast: https://bit.ly/498tN36
Three more biases: the Zeigarnik Effect, Negativity Bias, and The False Consensus Effect. (Who names these things?)
The Zeigarnik Effect is our tendency to remember uncompleted tasks better than completed ones. So you recall the times your spouse didn’t finish something very clearly but tend to forget the times they completed a task. This skews your internal count.
Negativity Bias is the tendency to focus on negative experiences more than positive ones. To some degree, this is human nature. But some of us tend to be negative in general. In marriage this causes us to dwell on conflicts and problems rather than celebrating successes and good times together.
The False Consensus Effect is overestimating how much others share your opinions and beliefs. This can lead to assuming your spouse feels as you do about something and then being upset when you discover they do not.
This bias can also lead to mind reading, miscommunications, and frustration when spouses assume their partner shares their perspective, only to discover that they do not.
The bias can play out as assuming our friends agree with us about something we disagree with our spouse about. We think everyone agrees with us, making us less willing to attempt to understand what our spouse thinks.
There are plenty of other biases that can mess with how we see our spouse. The best way to avoid all of them is to keep asking yourself if you might have misunderstood or made a wrong assumption. Question what you think, then seek clarification from your spouse.
~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well looks different for every couple. (And my wife does not agree with me on the ‘correct’ way to hang the toilet paper. ***note from Lori: because she is right about it***
All 14 turkey eggs hatched.
They are different sizes beause they hatched over about three weeks.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with Nano Banana 2
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bechangause?
@Scott Vaughn An accidental paste into the middle of the word. Saw it in the morning and fixed it, but you were up much earlier than I
***note from Lori: because she is right about it***
I love this, as me and my wife differ on the toilet paper roll situation; I put it on the roller, but she rarely puts it on the roller and is content with it set on the bath tub rim like a counter (but if I put it on the roller, she is ok with it their, but doesn’t see the need to put it there). This used to drive me bananas during our first year of marriage, but after deploying to Poland in the US Army and being gone for 9 months, I realized that it is such a small issue. when I returned home I embraced this quirk and said to myself, this is just what my wife does and I love her regardless. We have been married almost 9 years and its no longer an issue for us, and sometimes the wife will surprise me and put it on the roller every so often. I do love her, she keeps my life exciting.