Podcast: https://bit.ly/4vZupB7
How our heart sees our spouse incorrectly is not always seeing them as bad or evil. We can project onto them weakness or brokenness that we’ve seen in others. We might even be doing this out of love, not wanting to hurt them or push them too hard. But a false image is false even if it is born out of love.
When I was a lad in the 60s and 70s, women were considered mentally weak and emotionally frail. A good man who believed that would make accommodations for it in how he treated his wife and what he expected of her. Despite any evidence to the contrary, his heart saw his wife as fragile.
A false view of our spouse cheats them and limits our marriage no matter why we believe the lie. Seeing your wife as fragile means you treat her that way. You worry she can’t deal with difficult things. This can lead to hiding the fact that you are struggling financially or are feeling depressed. Your wife is not a partner; she is a broken person you care for. You end up carrying more than you should, and you may eventually blame your wife for that.
We may also use a wrong view of our spouse to justify our own sin or not confess our sins. So, for example, a man uses porn and masturbates because he thinks his wife is too delicate to deal with his full sex drive. Or he chooses not to confess the affair he had because “it would destroy her”. Lies and half-truths are seen as a necessary evil because of our false image.
Does how you see your wife in your heart agree with what you see and hear from her? Have you given into a cultural lie or had your vision skewed by your past? It seems like a good thing to pray about.
~ This is Paul, and seeing your wife as fragile is not Doing Marriage Well.
On a totally unrelated note, it’s been way too long since I have mentioned that what you read here is donation-supported. If you value what I write, would you consider helping out? Thanks! While we always appreciate one-off donations, recurring donations help us budget.
This “hairy ant” was seen outside.
It’s a velvet ant. Actually a flightless wasp with a nasty sting!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with Nano Banana 2
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.
