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Generosity is one of the best things you can do for your marriage. It can also be exceptionally difficult.
The key to doing it well is being consistent. Just being generous when things are going well and you feel good about life isn’t worth much. It’s nice, but it’s not marriage-changing. But being generous when you feel tried, stressed, or just blah is hard. Giving when you want to receive and reaching out when you want to be left alone take substantial effort and commitment.
Of course your mood and other things will influence how generous you are. This can’t be avoided. But you can set a minimum and fight to meet that regardless. Then when life is great, you can be even more generous. Doing this requires making a commitment to do it.
The other struggle is being generous to your spouse when what they deserve, based on their words and behaviour, is not generosity. Being generous when they have been rude, selfish, or distant isn’t just difficult; it feels wrong! It feels like you’re rewarding their bad behaviour. Why would you want to do that?
The Bible tells us God loved us when we were unloveable. I realise He’s God and we’re not, but we are still called to be like Him. And we are promised He will help us if we call out to Him.
I suspect we sometimes don’t seek God’s help because we really don’t want to do it. We don’t want to be generous when our spouse has been selfish. We don’t want to give anything to them when they have refused to give us what we want and need.
Again, it takes a commitment. We must decide our spouse deserves generosity because we have said they do. It’s not a reward for what they do. It’s not a quid pro quo; it’s what we have decided to do. It’s not about them; it’s about us.
Of course, you have to protect yourself and not give more than you can handle. But with God’s help, you can choose to walk in abundant generosity for your spouse. And that will bring about amazing things.
~ This is Paul, reminding you that Doing Marriage Well looks different for every couple.
Went under the house for potatoes for the last planting.
They had started growing. Not a problem; it just means they have a head start!
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with Nano Banana 2
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