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What if you could improve your sex life from the privacy of your home, spending less than an hour a week? A recent study suggests you can.
A group of thirty heterosexual individuals were asked to write out a sexual fantasy at least twice a week for four weeks. A control group wrote about having a meal with friends.
At the end of four weeks, those who had done the fantasies had some big improvements in their sexuality. They had a significant increase in sexual desire, an increase in sexual pleasure, and fewer cognitive distractions during sex, especially less worrying about performance. They had an increase in positive feelings about sex and a decrease in negative feelings. The fantasy group also experienced an increase in partner connectedness.
None of this is surprising. Sex is mostly in our heads, and writing out a fantasy changes how we think about sex.
If you want to give this a try, keep it private at first. If you want to share what you wrote later, that’s fine. But worrying about what your spouse might think will interfere with the process. Do write, be it longhand or typed into a device. Other studies have shown what we commit to paper or screen is more powerful than just thinking about it.
Obviously you write about sex between you and your spouse. Exploring something you have never done but think about is fine, but writing only about things your spouse doesn’t want to do is a bad plan.
Eventually sharing some of your fantasies could be a good thing for your sex life, if doing so feels comfortable and safe. It will teach your spouse how you see sex and what you long for sexually. It could be a way to start a discussion about something new you want to try. And sharing a fantasy could be good foreplay!
~ This is Paul, and fantasies can help you Do Sex Well.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with Nano Banana 2
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