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God is very pro-marriage. I want to share a couple of verses that show this.
If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married. ~ NIV
This passage is part of the OT Law. It is remarkable because it was given at a time when Israel was in near-constant war. No other civic duty meant he could not be forced to work on roads or carry supplies to the army. Some rabbis said it also meant he was to pay no tax.
The man was still expected to earn a living, but the entire community was called to carry a bit more so the new couple could develop a solid marriage. Some suggest “bring happiness to his wife” includes sex. While not found in the text, it would be logical to assume it’s part of the whole.
This is not a verse we consider today. If you are a church leader, may I suggest you honour the spirit of this and not ask newlyweds to serve for the first year they are married? And if you have any influence with newlyweds, show them this verse and ask them to prayerfully consider what it means for them.
The couple who focuses on their marriage and each other for the first year will do far better than those who do not!
Now for a New Testament verse:
Hold marriage in high esteem, all of you, and keep the marriage bed pure… ~ Hebrews 13:4a The Voice
The King James and New King James versions make this a statement: “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled,” rather than a command. We don’t have to dissect the original language to know this can’t be right. Marriage was not held in honour when Paul wrote the passage.
This passage being a command means it requires something of us. In our own marriage we must keep our sex life pure. We must also honour marriage in general. That doesn’t mean we say nice things about it. We should protect marriages. We should pray for those who are married and do everything we can to help those around us have better marriages.
The church is supposed to be a community, and we are supposed to take care of each other. Caring for other people’s marriages is part of that.
A couple of times when Lori and I were newly married, an older man came up to me and gave me a “Pentecostal handshake”, meaning he passed me some money. And that was accompanied by “take your wife out to dinner“. When we got older, Lori and I did our part by occasionally offering free babysitting for young couples with children. Now most Sunday evenings we take the grandkids for a few hours, to give mon and dad some couple time.
How could you help the marriage of those around you?
~ This is Paul, and Doing Marriage Well goes beyond your own marriage.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with Nano Banana 2
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