Podcast: https://bit.ly/4ghHQWK
A married couple is not two distinct individuals. There is some blending. The Bible says the two become one. What either does has an effect on the other, and what either feels has an effect on the other. This week I want to look at some of the ways this plays out in our marriages and what we can do to make things better.
Mood is a big one. A good mood can certainly be contagious. Have you ever been feeling a bit down, but your spouse was feeling happy and full of life, and that rubbed off on you a bit? Enthusiasm and optimism can also rub off on us. Those are good transfers.
But it happens the other way too.
A bad mood can drag us down. You were feeling good, and then your spouse came in a doom and gloom, and it ran over your good mood.
Grumpiness can also be contagious. Likewise for worry, fear, and even panic. It’s said misery loves company, and all too often misery produces company by spilling over on to others.
One of the best things you can do for yourself, your spouse, and your marriage is to fight letting your spouse’s bad mood become your bad mood. This doesn’t mean you ignore them. You care about them, and when they’re down, you care about that. You want to hear about it and offer whatever help possible. But do this while fighting the tendency to go where they are. Going there won’t help them.
If your spouse was in a pit, jumping in to comfort them would be a bad plan because then you would both be in the pit. The better choice is to remain at the top and help them out of the pit. If they can’t do that yet, then you wait until they can, being as encouraging as you can.
If you feel guilty being okay when your spouse is not, that is something you need to work on. Concern is right and normal, but guilt is neither right nor helpful.
~ This is Paul, and staying out of the pit is Doing Marriage Well.
Almost!
Lori is especially proud about these, as it’s the first time she has raised tomatoes from seed.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with Nano Banana 2
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