Podcast: https://bit.ly/4cKyVw2
I’m sure you’ve heard Hunter S Thompson’s “Anything worth doing, is worth doing right.” But have you heard how G.K. Chesterton turned that on its head, saying, “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.”
The statement is not about doing things poorly. It’s about the danger of perfectionsim. If fear of failure stops you from trying, that’s a problem. If you won’t even try because you know you can’t do it perfectly, then you are lost. Saying it’s worth doing badly means doing it badly is better than not doing it at all. Far better.
This is a very important idea to apply to your marriage. No one does marriage perfectly; we all make mistakes and blow it from time to time. We must avoid getting so hung up on our failures that we stop trying.
Just as important, we have to feel the same way about our spouse. When they make an effort, do you thank them for that, even if they blow it? Sometimes getting it right is important to us, but we must still value an honest attempt. If we don’t, we’re telling them we expect perfection. And that’s a good way to get them to give up.
I’ve been far from perfect in my marriage. Especially the first few years. I cringe when I remember things I said and did thinking they were a good idea. Fortunately Lori has always been fair and reasonable, even when I hurt her. That has both encouraged me to keep trying and made me want to get it right for her sake.
Over 41 years later I’m still not perfect. I blow it less often and less spectacularly, but I still blow it. And my wonderful wife still loves, forgives, and thanks me for my efforts.
BTW, Chesterton was also a brilliant Christian apologist. He said, “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried.“
~ This is Paul, and perfectionism has no part to play in Doing Marriage Well
Finally got some beans
Tasted great!
Image Credits: First image © Paul H Byerly created with Nano Banana 2 Second image © Paul H Byerly
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