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As I’ve suggested that perfectionism is not a good thing, some of you may have thought, “Wait, didn’t Jesus tell us to be perfect?” Yes, but no.
You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. ~ Matthew 5:48 ESV
The word “perfect” comes from the Greek word teleios. It means complete, mature, or fully grown. But we don’t have to dig into the Greek to know we can’t be perfect. In Mark 10:18 Jesus said, “No one is good except God alone.” If we can’t even be called good, we certainly are not called to be perfect.
Most modern versions of the Bible render Mt 5:48 better. Unfortunately some of us were hit with a lot of inaccurate theology that taught us we were supposed to reach a level of perfection God never called us to. Some who know they are saved by faith in Jesus still feel they have to earn God’s love or do enough good to deserve heaven. Even some who know this is false still react to it internally. The gospel of perfectionism remains strong among some Christians.
The corollary to this is that we must be perfect, or very close to it, to deserve love from our spouse. Do you feel that way? Does that drive you? Does it make you frustrated? Does it make you feel you can never be good enough for your spouse? Has it caused you to give up?
What your spouse feels here is not the issue. If you believe you must earn their love, that is about you, and what they think can’t change that. And if you don’t think you have to earn their love, then what they think doesn’t have power over you.
On the other side of it, do you expect your spouse to earn your love? Do you hold back when you don’t think they are doing enough? Might this be happening subconsciously?
Yes, we should push ourselves to be better and to treat our spouse better. But a quid-pro quo marriage is an abomination God never envisioned. Love does not keep score, and it’s happy to take the short end of the stick on occasion. This has to run both ways over time, but there will be seasons where it’s mostly one way.
~ This is Paul, and I’m glad neither God nor my bride limits me to what I deserve!
Lori and I see a lot of “Jeep Ducking” around here.
This little guy is our favourite, so far
Image Credits: First image © Paul H Byerly created with Nano Banana 2 Second image © Paul H Byerly
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