Podcast: https://bit.ly/4hLPCtL
Let’s look at two more ways some couples go against what “everyone does” because their circumstances make it a better choice. Both of these will get you criticised or looked down on. One by church folks, the other by the world.
Mr. Mom: I have several male friends who stayed home with kids while their wives earned money. For each couple, this was the best choice for multiple years. One of these guys was a cop, so it’s not like he was a “sissy” or unwilling to work. In another instance, the husband was recovering from a significant medical issue that made him impossible to employ in his field. The kids were young, but old enough they didn’t push him past what he could do physically.
The struggle here is the idea that the husband is supposed to provide for his family and the wrong thinking that a man staying at home with the kids is not doing that. My thinking is a real man does what is best for his family, even if that is unusual or looked down on.
BTW, all these men told me caring for the kids was the hardest job they ever had. Stay-at-home parents rock!
Less Is More: We live in a consumer society. Many people judge success, happiness, worth, and value by the material possessions someone has. Judging people this way is contrary to the Bible. What’s more, pursuing great wealth is not advocated by Jesus or any New Testament writer. But we’re influenced by the cultural waters in which we swim, and few of us are free of this mindset.
The problem is more stuff requires more money. And more money requires working more hours. I realise some couples could not provide a minimal, safe life for their kids if only one of them worked full time. But for many couples where both work full time, it’s about having more or better, not what is necessary. Likewise for some of the parents who work both a full-time and a part-time job, or who takes every minute of overtime they can get.
Usually the issue is living beyond our means, which is a cultural obsession in the US. Living in a small simple place in a safe neighbourhood isn’t enough. We need bigger and better. We need more things, better vacations, and all the toys. I’m not opposed to any of those things, but we need to understand the cost of having them. Not the price tag cost, but the time cost. Might our kids be better off having us home every evening? Would more time with us all year be better for them than a week with us on a fantastic vacation? Would being able to make their games and recitals bless them more than a new gaming system?
All of these questions should also be asked about time with your spouse. Is “a better life” worth more time together? What would your spouse say if you asked them that question?
Where are you doing what everyone does because that’s how it’s done? Would your kids and/or marriage benefit from you bucking the trend and doing it differently?
~ This is Paul, and following your culture may not be Doing Marriage Well.
The pigs are in their new enclosure.
And having their first batch of sunflowers.
Image Credits: First image © Paul H Byerly created with Nano Banana 2 Second image © Paul H Byerly
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