REFLECTION (Day 6 of 7)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)
Much of what I say here is about dealing with ourselves. And rightly so. We are the only ones who can change ourselves and our changes will have influence within our marriage relationships. Good deal.
For the record, if you and your spouse are good-hearted, but imperfect people, then this blog and the whole dealing with yourself philosophy will be very helpful.
If your marriage is out of kilter, and you’re not sure what is wrong, but you or your spouse feels emotionally battered, I encourage you to read The Emotionally Abusive Marriage by Leslie Vernick. The author is brilliant about explaining healthy and not healthy behaviors. She gives you a vocabulary and understanding that makes it much easier to sort things out.
However, if you are in a relationship where there are significant marriage problems (abuse, addiction, infidelity, etc.), this blog will not likely be a help.
I’m not saying you should stop learning to be a better person and better spouse, but abuse involves complicated emotional wounds and that calls for someone with a bit of training.
If you are in physical danger, please call this hotline (National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-7233) and get to safety before dealing with any significant marriage problems. (And, men, please seek help if you are being physically abused by your wife. Don’t let a stereotype keep you from seeking help.)
Be wise. Be safe.