The Lost Art of Listening by Nichols and Strauss is a pretty solid book. It’s been updated to help us deal with technology (texts, emails, and such).
I also think that reading or watching something with your spouse can be used as a good tool. When you share an experience, you have similar perspectives and vocabulary. Talking about what you’ve seen/heard can help you learn how your spouse communicates and hone your own listening and speaking skills.
It’s good to learn on something fun, so when you need to have a stressful conversation, you have some good experience under your belt and greater understanding of how your spouse communicates.