(Need to start at the beginning?  Day 1)

When I was very young I was sexually abused by a friend of the family and his friends. Not exactly a stellar way to learn about sex.

My growing up culture was mostly silent, but I picked up that men liked sex and women didn’t (for a variety of reasons).

Add in a messy peer culture, a guy in college who wouldn’t take no for an answer, and a difficult first marriage, and by the time Paul and I got married, I was a right good mess when it came to relationships and sex.

But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 1 Corinthians 7:2-4

I knew what the Bible said about sex, but it was very far from my reality. Sex was not a delight for me (see Song of Solomon) and I didn’t want my husband taking care of my sexuality (I was hiding it and I had a difficult enough time taking care of his). Sex was a painful duty shot through with guilt and shame.

So please do understand I get it when it comes to sex being a difficult subject.

sad wife

Today’s the day for introspection on the subject of sex. Please be gentle and gracious with yourself. Talk to God about the sexual messages you received growing up and about your sexual history. Talk to him about the current condition of your bedroom life with your spouse. Give God a chance to help you see clearly what’s going on and make your sexual life happier and healthier.

(For those of you who are new to hearing my story, please know that my story isn’t finished. 🙂 What started out painfully messy, has gone through seasons of healing and education, and is now a chapter of enjoying the journey. And I’m sure there’s more to come. God is so good. Tip Me Over)


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