AN EXTRA WEEK –  (Day 2 of 6)

These are our three concepts to reflect on and practice this week.

WORK YOUR PLAN – be intentional about lovin’ your spouse.
BE OPEN TO REASON – listen to understand.
DRAW THEM CLOSE – invite your spouse to draw near.

One thing I would like to point out is, when our spouse invites us to draw closer, it’s a no-brainer that we need to respond to them well as often as we can.

Dr John Gottman (a non-Christian researcher) calls this a bid for attention. We want to turn toward our spouse instead of away from them when they reach out to us. It’s an intimacy builder.

So today, I’m not only looking for ways to invite my husband closer, I’m looking for his attempts to draw me close.

What are you working on today? Don’t forget to look for those bids for attention!

It’s not quite autumn here, but we are beginning to see the signs of its approach.

Most plants are going to seed, and my sunflowers are drooping.

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Image credits – mice touching noses © Nick Fewings / Unsplash, droopy sunflowers © Lori / Doing Marriage Well
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INVITATION TO INTIMACY –  (Day 6 of 6)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

This week we were experimenting with drawing and inviting our spouses to various forms of intimacy.

Draw me away with you … Song of Songs 11:4a  AMP

How did you do? What did you learn?

I learned it takes energy and intention. I have a heart for it, but I have to give this a higher priority and make the time and energy for it, or I run on autopilot.

It was a crazy week for us (medical stuff, website stuff, family stuff), so I was pretty tired. Thinking about intimate times with my sweetie, planning for it, and actually doing something cost time and energy.

I am glad we have next week to practice these principles. I’m praying for an easier week to get in some practice time.

Chicory.

It grows everywhere on the property. Love the little blue flowers.

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Image credits – robot on autopilot © Mopic / Adobe Stock, chicory © photographer / source
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OPEN TO REASON –  (Day 6 of 6)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

How did your week go?

But the wisdom from above is … open to reason … James 3:17  ESV

Did anything surprise you? Were you able to listen to others? Did your spouse notice? Did you learn anything about someone else? Yourself?

I did pretty well with my practice except for one day. I had to tone down my voice and work to stay calm over someone who would just not let me go. I still have to think through that one because I need to handle it differently in the future. Do I overlook it or address it? Being open to reason doesn’t mean you have to let bad behavior slide.

It was messy, but I learned something and I’ll do better next time.

We had a little visitor to our high tunnel in the garden.

Apparently, ground cherry leaves are quite comfortable.

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Image credits – couple talking © Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash, visiting frog © Paul / Doing Marriage Well
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HAVE A PLAN, WORK THE PLAN –  (Day 6 of 6)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

I’m great at making plans, but follow through has to be done in the chaos of life.

The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.  Proverbs 21:5  ESV

That said, I am finding that a source of accountability is one of the better tools.

I have weekly-coffee-date friends that have permission to ask me questions about my life.

I routinely struggle to keep up with personal bookkeeping and deal with the never ending receipts. Today is my catch-up day because I know sooner or later I will be asked how I’m doing with bookkeeping. I want to be current, but having that accountability means I’m just a bit more motivated to chip away at my pile of receipts.

I also have a personal planner that acts as accountability and helps me keep on top of all those little things that try to slip through the cracks. My personal August challenge is listed there too (doing well, so far).

What helps y’all stay on task?

I love ever-bearing strawberries!

You get to pick them all summer long (these are Albion strawberries, good for those in zones 4-8 US).

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Image credits – receipts © Sabine van Erp / Pixabay, strawberries © Lori / Doing Marriage Well
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DON’T BE FUSSY –  (Day 6 of 6)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

How did your week go? Did a focus on being positive rather than negative impact your marriage? Did it impact your heart?

A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike … Proverbs 27:15a ESV

For me, it pointed out the need to be more positive. I can stop the negative words pretty easily, but, if that’s all I do, I leave an empty space. That empty space calls to be filled and makes it easy to fall back into negativity.

Being intentional about filling that space with something positive makes it easier to stop the negativity and builds the positive habit.

Again, I want to remind y’all that there are times we need to discuss problems and negative issues. I’m talking more specifically about a general demeanor. Being routinely quarrelsome causes harm to us, our marriages, and more.

We have a new member in our family community.

This is Zelda. She is 12 weeks old and is in the care of my grandson (though my DIL is a kitty whisperer, so Zelda will get lots of loving). She looks like an orange creamsicle with green eyes, and she’s a sweetie.

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Image credits – empty jar © Claudio Henrique Claudio / Pixabay, Zelda the kitty © Lori / Doing Marriage Well
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OVERLOOK OFFENSE –  (Day 6 of 6)
(Need to start at the beginning? Day 1)

It’s been a rollercoaster ride of a week for me.

… it is (a person’s) honor and glory to overlook a transgression or an offense [without seeking revenge and harboring resentment]. Proverbs 19:11b AMP

I think at the heart of this concept is the ability to offer grace. Harsh judgements make it easy to see and hold onto offense.

I’m not saying we should take our brain out of gear and go all loosy-goosy with sin. I’m just saying our world can be pretty harsh and others could use a bit of understanding and gentle encouragement.

How did y’all do at overlooking offense with your spouse? Others? What did you learn about yourself?

My first sunflower of the year!

I looked out my window and saw this bit of yellow. It’s just opening up and will be one of those sunflowers that has the super large seed head.

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Image credits – butterfly resting on finger © Amy Humphries / Unsplash, sunflower © Lori / Doing Marriage Well
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